One Night In Bangkok

Bangkok, the city of million tuktuk's, is a logical starting point for some SEA travelling. It's the place for a dirty-minded traveller, who likes to breathe thick smog-air in the mornings.

Perfect recipe for a succesful night out is to start with some vodka, energy shit and cough-medicine as a wild card.

Friday night at Bangkok's RCA Street is a clubber's paradise. Extremely loud music makes it impossible to have social encounters with people, but alcohol makes it endurable. For my readers, who are horny perverts, a suitable place to continue from here is a club called Hollywood. There you can stick stickers into strippers and have a blast.

We went for some late-night QP's at McD's. We were accompanied by few attractive ladyboys with a different kind of late-night snack in mind.

Next night we decided to switch the neighbourhood to Khao San Road. You might remember this place from my last trip to Bangkok in 2009. Nothing had changed, and why would it, Khao San Road is an awesome place to party like an animal.

If you're thinking it's a good idea to taste some sausages at a nice chinese road-side restaurant. DON'T. If it won't kill you, it will definately traumatize you for a long time. 

Against all instructions you should let a tuktuk-driver deside what you should see. It's a scam for sure, but you won't be disappointed. Our go-with-the-flow tuktuk-destination was a wonderful boat trip at the river. 

Traveller can never get too comfortable. For example on a relaxing boat trip your pants can explode randomly like this. You can only minimize the harm done by wearing clean underwear.

That's how you wait your turn to get into the Skytrain.

Small Country with Big Dreams

Hitch-hiking a train in a border between Costa Rica and Panama.

Gringo activities in a bar in Bocas: Jumping into the water with Superman boxers.

Ebony acitivities in a bar in Bocas: Booty shaking battle.

World class Beach Volley was played at the sunny Bocas, despite of the fact that every step felt like putting your foot into a campfire.

 

Until this day it has not been explained, why did the Coconut War start in a remote beach in Bocas. People just arrived to the beach and impulsively started to crack fellow travellers' skulls with coconuts.

 

It's a true privilege to have seen dolphin emerging to the surface and showing it's awesome fin.

Panama City, a place where colombian girls and casinos meet western tourists in a disturbing way.

Who was the idiot who invented a four-man bicycle with two steering wheels?

Bunch of school children operating the Miraflores Locks at the Panama Canal.

Little flirting at the check-in counter did the trick and economy class was switched into first class flight.

One man's ocean is an other man's swimming pool.

Pura Vida

 Guys doing a good job with the back-vocals at the Playa Tamagringo karaoke-night.

Night-time Cloud Forest excursion was spectacular @ Santa Elena. It rained the entire 2 hours and we saw wonderful things, such as the stick-insect with no movement and a tarantuna skin plotted in a hole by the staff.

We drove our rental vehicle into the river and took some idiotic pictures Top Gear-style.

@ Monteverde we discovered a waterfall 45 min walk away from some old lady's backyard.

Costa Rica is a perfect place for an adrenaline junkie. At the canopy tour you can compete against moronic American dudes on who can fool around the most on the zip line. If you're up for it, canopy tour is a perfect place to hit on girls, who are tired of their idiotic boyfriends.

 It's not the swinging, but the screaming that's the worst. I'm sure everyone has something to say at the moment when the heavy rope pushes you over the ledge.

At the hostel in San Jose we pulled out some really funny jokes. For example, this picture presents the bearded man playing pool. How funny is that!

Trying to scare girls exiting the bathroom. Should've tried without the mask for more effect.

They don't want any late-night scandals at this hostel.

Chillin' at a hammock in Puerto Viejo. Smoke up the herb mon! 

Anything can happen in Nicaragua

If you want your Central American holiday to be even remotely enjoyable, you must avoid the capital cities as much as you can. The problem is, that you can't avoid them, because every path is routed through these capital shitholes.  

In El Salvador it's safer to drop tourists off to the side of a highway then into a bus station, where we would've probably been knifed and robbed by transvestites.

Near the colonial town of Granada, we got a ride to a beautiful lake. We swimmed, drinked some milk shakes, giggled and had the best time.

People from third world countries are often emphasizing how their country has the worst roads and drivers. In some cases they are quite right.

Sadly this specimen couldn't teach us the art of crab dancing anymore.

If somebody recognizes the girl in the left corner, please give me her contact information and I'll marry her instantly. She was the loveliest spanish girl I've ever met.

After hours in San Juan del Sur it was time for everybody to find their way to Crazy Crab. Burned up gringos got a ride to the club from these attractive models. Imagine what you could get? 

 

Full of confidence, ready to break the waves.

 

 Riding the perfect wave at Playa Maderas. Points for the professional style.

Instead of the beach, this creature was staying at a backbacker-hostel too.

 

We were learning the synchronized Guatemalan Walker -style dance moves to impress the girls after everything else fails.

Wtf!?! Who thought it would be a good idea to take close-ups?

The boat to Ometepe Island was already tilting heavily while it was still docked and the waters surrounding the island were known to be treacherous.

We heard a rumour, that there would be Howler Monkeys in a certain nature park at Ometepe. We decided to check them out, but unfortunately couldn't spot them. Only option was to act as monkeys ourselves.

This guy felt like sleeping in the middle of a sentence.

This Jesus impersonation of walking on the water demands a little imagination. 

In Ometepe people can rent cool kick-bikes. They are rent as normal bikes, that'll inevitably break beyond repair as you go for a spin.

After kick-bikes you can rent some other crappy stuff such as chinese motorbikes. When you turn the throttle remember one thing: The pig always wins!

 

Our outlaw motorcycle club was pulled over by the local law enforcement officer. He had an important job to stop people in a street corner, write some bullshit about them to a paper, and then let them go.

 

Chinese motorbike was humiliating me by not starting.

Howler Monkey. I spotted it!