Anything can happen in Nicaragua

If you want your Central American holiday to be even remotely enjoyable, you must avoid the capital cities as much as you can. The problem is, that you can't avoid them, because every path is routed through these capital shitholes.  

In El Salvador it's safer to drop tourists off to the side of a highway then into a bus station, where we would've probably been knifed and robbed by transvestites.

Near the colonial town of Granada, we got a ride to a beautiful lake. We swimmed, drinked some milk shakes, giggled and had the best time.

People from third world countries are often emphasizing how their country has the worst roads and drivers. In some cases they are quite right.

Sadly this specimen couldn't teach us the art of crab dancing anymore.

If somebody recognizes the girl in the left corner, please give me her contact information and I'll marry her instantly. She was the loveliest spanish girl I've ever met.

After hours in San Juan del Sur it was time for everybody to find their way to Crazy Crab. Burned up gringos got a ride to the club from these attractive models. Imagine what you could get? 

 

Full of confidence, ready to break the waves.

 

 Riding the perfect wave at Playa Maderas. Points for the professional style.

Instead of the beach, this creature was staying at a backbacker-hostel too.

 

We were learning the synchronized Guatemalan Walker -style dance moves to impress the girls after everything else fails.

Wtf!?! Who thought it would be a good idea to take close-ups?

The boat to Ometepe Island was already tilting heavily while it was still docked and the waters surrounding the island were known to be treacherous.

We heard a rumour, that there would be Howler Monkeys in a certain nature park at Ometepe. We decided to check them out, but unfortunately couldn't spot them. Only option was to act as monkeys ourselves.

This guy felt like sleeping in the middle of a sentence.

This Jesus impersonation of walking on the water demands a little imagination. 

In Ometepe people can rent cool kick-bikes. They are rent as normal bikes, that'll inevitably break beyond repair as you go for a spin.

After kick-bikes you can rent some other crappy stuff such as chinese motorbikes. When you turn the throttle remember one thing: The pig always wins!

 

Our outlaw motorcycle club was pulled over by the local law enforcement officer. He had an important job to stop people in a street corner, write some bullshit about them to a paper, and then let them go.

 

Chinese motorbike was humiliating me by not starting.

Howler Monkey. I spotted it!