Washington D.C.

Summer trip 2013 was going to be a Roadtrip in the USA. Little did we know, that this was going to be hottest and gayest trip so far. The hottest in the sense, that the temperatures would go as high as +50 C, and gayest in the sense, that every sleeping arrangement would be in double beds all the way.

One way to kill time in long flights is to drink fast few strong drinks and put a rug over your head.

First scam was waiting for us just outside the Dulles Airport in Washington D.C. After exiting the airport we shuttled ourselves into the National Car Rental Agency to pick up our rental car.  In order to find the perfect American vehicle we ended up running nervously around the parking lot looking for a black Dodge Charger. At the end, we could've done worse, because we got the car we wanted only in different colour. Agency's Mexican sales lady had a well played pushy tactic, for which we ended paying extra for extra costs and buying a sat radio instead of a useful sat navigator.

 

It's a true gift to fall a sleep in the Washington D.C. subway. The downtown area is not that big and you'll be sure to reach your destination in just few stops.

Before finding breakfast our priority was to find liquor store. We ended up in Walgreens, which didn't sell liguor, but was actually a drug store selling monkey breakfast.

Selfies are the thing to do in front of the White House. You propably have to wait a while or push some people away from the fence to get the perfect pic.

I wouldn't be surprised if some people felt, that the most amazing thing behind the White House fence is the enormous well cut lawn. The actual building is too hyped to leave an impression when you actually get to see it for real.

 

Washington Monument is an obelisque in the National Mall -park in Washington D.C., but what I really want to emphasize here is that there really are amazingly vast fields of well cut lawn everywhere. 

The Smithsonian Museum of Aerospace and something was a wet day dream for engineers. There were some of the greatest achievements of mankind hanging from the roof and lying on the floor. For instance, unmanned attack drones and Apollo space capsules.

The statue of Ape Lincoln at the other end of the National Mall. You might recognize this guy from the movie Planet of the Apes.

According to the research, this concrete bunker was supposed to be the FBI headquarters, but it was actually US Dept of Health & Human Services. They had the privilege of occupying the ugliest public building on the side of the National Mall.

  

Finally the Capitol at the eastern end of the National Mall is propably the most interesting building here. Unfortunately, we didn’t bother to go closer then this to it. The fact is, that there’s a lot of huge government buildings on the side of the National Mall and all around D.C., so you just might get an overdose of them at some point. Also, the hottest summer in living memory sucked all the energy out of the stroll.

  

On the other side of the Potomac River is the Arlington National Cemetary. It’s 253 hectares in size and it has almost as much graves as the city has population.

The next stop was Pentagon, one subway-stop away from the Arlington National Cemetary. If you're a fast runner you might get closer then 500 meters to the building before the security personnel catches you to perform a cavity search. And if you're not a fast runner, you can see how restricted everything is around here.

Washington D.C. has also a vibrant nightlife where you can hit on girls by telling them how awesome governmental stuff you've seen during the daytime. If your story is interesting enough you have the chance to show them your own national obelisque.

If your story was boring, you can check your alcohol level with this machine. If it's broken or shows too low levels, the best thing to do is drink more just to be on the safe side. 

The morning after you must drink one of these gigantic Powerades to miraculously cure your hangover.  After experiencing all this you're ready to continue your road trip. In our case we headed from D.C. towards the Atlantic Coast and to the state of Delaware.